Personal

of courage and determination

 

We, people, tend to take things for granted until it’s not there anymore. You know, I’ve been blogging since I was 12-years-old and even to my surprise, I’m still here doing it. It started out as an outlet and a hobby. I was this kid, barely a teenager, exploring and needed a way to express herself. In blogging I found peace. It gave me the opportunity to let it out, to cope, to unleash my so called creativity and to just document my life in general. I love it, you know? People might think that this ‘thing’ might be dying but blogging is a way to express and not just some trend. This hobby turned into passion. Throughout the years, I’ve been juggling with anxiety and I was terrified of other people’s opinion about me but hey I’m still here right? That’s the proof that I got through it.

So I never stopped. I aged, grew up, learned new things and so many character developments happened to me but I didn’t stop. There are a lot of times where I thought, why should I? Nobody cares about me. Nobody cares about what I write and put out there. No one was ever really supportive of my passion and it ate me. I let it.

From being a teenager who spent majority of her time on social media, putting herself out there, updating every minute to the girl I am today who lost her drive to blog and to let her life revolve around social media.

 

I never thought I would come to this point because I was so into social media. I guess we never really know how much circumstances can change us. It was for the better.

A few months back, something happened to my host and my domain (www.claudineann.com) was about to expire. I honestly didn’t care anymore. I said, why should I care? I wasn’t even putting out content for months anymore. It felt like work. I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. And then I lost it. Funny, that’s when I realized how much I miss it and how much I love it.

I decided to keep going that’s why I’m here. I don’t care if I get recognized or not. I don’t care if people likes what I do or not. I don’t care if people don’t support me. I love what I’m doing and I won’t ever let my anxiety stop me from doing it.

And so I just want to say to whoever is reading this entry… If you’ve been a reader, I want to sincerely thank you for sparing me a bit of your time. If you’re a fellow blogger or if we follow each other on social medias, I may not know what to say sometimes that’s why I don’t comment or message on your posts but I see it and I read it. Thank you for supporting me in little ways and those little ways? They mean the world to me. Thank you.

 

I promised myself that I won’t give up this time. I’ll keep going. 

Have courage to fight your demons and the determination to keep going.

8 Comments

  • Reply
    Kristine
    July 18, 2018 at 4:33 pm

    “I was this kid, barely a teenager, exploring and needed a way to express herself. In blogging I found peace. It gave me the opportunity to let it out, to cope, to unleash my so called creativity and to just document my life in general. I love it, you know”

    I love this few lines! I, myself found myself writing online about my rants and found comfort through it. I may be slacking on my own blog and thought about stopping to write and post as well, but I thought I started the blog back in 2011 because that is what I love to do.

    I am just so glad to find you back in here, your posts are seriously great! I do not do makeup and fashion but I find myself stuck on your page reading make ups. LOL. Cheers to new chapter of your blog! And can’t wait to read future posts from you! 🙂

    • Reply
      CA
      July 20, 2018 at 8:27 am

      Oh my gosh thank you so much for reading it. It really means a lot to me! I agree, I fear that I may feel lazy again to write but I won’t give up like I almost did last time. I didn’t realize how much I was lost into writing reviews that I didn’t have any personal content anymore. I will definitely post other things besides makeup from now on! Thank you SO SO much, Kristine. ♡

  • Reply
    Karen
    July 18, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    I am so in love with your blog. The color is so you! I don’t really know why, but every time I see this color, ikaw yung naaalala ko. Maybe because of your makeup rin? 🙂

    When I first started blogging in 2016, I always read na “blog for yourself”. And that’s true. It came to a point na I was pressured because I want to go big in this industry, pero I can’t. It’s not supposed to be like that. Just like you, I am afraid of what will people say. BUT I’m so happy when I read this “I decided to keep going that’s why I’m here. I don’t care if I get recognized or not. I don’t care if people likes what I do or not. I don’t care if people don’t support me. I love what I’m doing and I won’t ever let my anxiety stop me from doing it.”.

    Keep going! <3 I know you'll definitely go places.

    • Reply
      CA
      July 20, 2018 at 8:35 am

      I really worked on my blog before launching it! I used to want EVERYTHING placed on my homepage but I realized that it looks overwhelming! So I opted for a very minimalist theme. Hihi. I’m so glad you like it!! OMG Kilig me but I don’t know! I wanted to change the colors but I just couldn’t! huhu.

      Girrrrl, same. Sometimes, I even hate myself for even thinking about it for a second. It’s so greedy of me to want to be “big” but sometimes you just get lost in it. We’re human so I guess it can’t be avoided. I stopped because I didn’t want to be that person. Honestly, I was getting anxiety already and I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I had to reevaluate why I was blogging in the first place. Thank you so much, Karen. I’m really glad that I met you through blogging. ♡♡♡

  • Reply
    Clarisa
    August 6, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    I was like you when I started blogging — I wanted to be recognised. I wanted people to comment on my posts; I wanted my homepage to be filled with content; I wanted my blog to have a lot of visitor hits. The way I obsessed about these unimportant things were so unhealthy. When I didn’t reach my target, I got frustrated, and eventually, I lost all the drive I have to continue blogging.

    I stopped blogging entirely during my university years. I had a Tumblr blog but it was never a proper blog, just full of reblogs and random stuff. During those times, I tried convincing myself to come back but I never had the inspiration. But there was a time when I actually bought a domain and hosting plan out of whim and impulse, but I failed to maintain it. I abandoned it just after a few months, and it shut down just after a year, when the domain name got expired. What a waste of allowance. LOL

    But two years ago, I chanced into a travel blog when I was planning an itinerary for my trip. I was reading her travel posts that can help me with my trip, but I also ended up reading her other posts. Her blog was so beautiful, both in design- and content-sense. Browsing through her blog ignited the passion I once had in blogging. Just like last time, I impulsively bought a domain and a hosting plan, but it felt good that time around. I told myself that I will make my blog a personal one. I won’t try to impress anyone. I won’t blog for recognition, for the hits, or for the comments. I will blog for myself. Two and a half years later, my blog is still kickin’ and going strong! What I told myself that time must have worked!

    CA, remember that things will fall eventually into their rightful place and time. Just continue to enjoy what you love to do, you don’t need other’s validation, anyway. Do the things you love for yourself alone.

    I sincerely hope you find your home here on this blog. It’s a beaut! <3

    P.S. Apologies if my comment was too long. Reading your post really reminded me of my own experience.

    • Reply
      CA
      September 17, 2018 at 9:54 am

      I guess at some point, we all get consumed with superficial things like fame and all that, but you know what, I’m glad that you decided to blog for yourself. That’s what I’m trying to do now. I’m not pressuring myself to create content anymore. I’m just enjoying it.

      Thank you, Clarisa! I really love reading comments so I’m so grateful that you left me one. *hugs*

  • Reply
    Danica Rama
    August 29, 2018 at 6:56 am

    Didn’t know you deleted your previous blog, CA. But still, I’m happy to know that you’re back and you’re determined to continue this passion of yours. I think we all have been there, but what’s important is we never give up on what we want 🙂

    • Reply
      CA
      September 17, 2018 at 9:56 am

      I didn’t renew my domain and host. I was so pressured so I just decided to leave it. Thank you, Danica! I’m glad that you’re back too! ♡

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