Hey you, how have you been? Hah. I didn’t expect to miss this so much! But I do. So much. Me? I’ve been preoccupied with acads and well… just life in general. I mean I know I can always make time for the things I love but whenever I do have the free time, I just usually choose to rest instead of doing something else. Peace of mind, rest, and sleep has been a luxury for me.
So, a few weeks ago, I got my first ever commission as a creative. Gahddamn. I still can’t believe that someone actually believed in me to ask me to create something for them! I am beyond grateful. It makes me look forward to create more in the future. Ugh. I don’t know, man. I still don’t know what to say.
This year has been a roller coaster for me but its really amazing how the little things can enlighten you and change you. Me? Everyone around me knows that I’m this strong girl who doesn’t put up with shit. I’m never one to sugarcoat and I’m never one to let people bully me. I’ve always been outspoken with my feelings and my opinions and people tend to misunderstand that. Honestly, that’s one reason why I feel the need to suppress myself from being genuine to people around me. I am constantly bothered by their opinion but one of the things I realized this year is that you don’t ever have to bound yourself because the right people will unquestionably understand you. But one thing that I also taught myself is to be wise, that I shouldn’t let others see how they’re affecting me, and that I should think before I spit.
I hate politics. It makes me sick to my stomach that there are soooo many people willing to exchange their souls just for power. I never cared about any of that! But one lesson I learned recently is that people are gonna intentionally hurt you if they think you’re after something that they want/have. Opinions are just opinions, unless they really have malice. Yes, we shouldn’t always take it personally but there are battles that you have to fight or it’ll just keep on happening. After what happened to me, I realized that I shouldn’t involve myself with people who are full of malice and greed. Some people are sooo good at pretending that you’ll barely notice it. But it’s there. I choose not to be a part of something that I know will just ruin me. I come first. If something is not doing me any good, I’ll drop it.
In other news, I attended a friend’s birthday a few weeks ago. We ate, drank a little, yelled while jumping and dancing, hugged, and just had fun. It was one of the nights I will never forget in my college life. It’s those little moments that will prove to you how good life actually is. It’s when you let go and just dance and sing and just ignore the world. Friends doesn’t always mean talking to them on a daily basis and sharing your deepest secrets. Sometimes, it also means being there in a moment where you both need to let go, no words, no secrets, just people in that moment. I don’t know if that made sense but I don’t know how to put that thought into words. In case you didn’t get it, it’s okay. *giggles* I really loved that night. I was with Mikwel and my friends. It was a solid night.
Acads and the commute has been draining the life out of my body lately. Life is draining but I try to remind myself that it’s okay, that’s life. I’m a work in progress. I’ll make it like I did before.
I think that’s it for now. I just really wanted to share my thoughts tonight. This is unplanned! That’s why my thoughts are jumbled and confusing! I’m sorry.
This is just me trying to come back to personal blogging. I don’t wanna force myself to keep writing about makeups and shiz. I wanna write for myself now.
The world is harsh as it is, please be kind.